


Waves

by Kaxpha



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Deaf Character, Emetophobia, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Injury Recovery, M/M, Major Character Injury, Sickfic, guilty keith, guilty lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-08-20 09:17:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8244125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaxpha/pseuds/Kaxpha
Summary: "Lance woke up and instantly regretted it, he could feel every beat of his heart in his temples, his eyes burned from the sunlight overhead, there was triple of everything..."Lance can't remember how he got into the crash; Keith can, in vivid detail.





	1. The swamp

Lance woke up and instantly regretted it, he could feel every beat of his heart in his temples, his eyes burned from the sunlight overhead, there was triple of everything. ..

His body was heaved suddenly, something jolting in his chest and sending shocks of pain snaking through his veins. Lance couldn't help the sharp inhale or the scream that followed it. Whatever, whoever was dragging him away from the crash was going to kill him like this, he wanted to just stay here and not move, but something deep in Lance told him that would be worse. 

It took a moment to remember just exactly where he was, what the situation was. “Keith?” his throat was raw, and horribly dry, he couldn't remember a time he'd been more thirsty... in the drinking sense anyway. He couldn't gather enough strength to say it out loud, damn. What was the point in being this hilarious if no one knew about it.

There wasn't a reply to his frail question, but unless the Galran ship's pilot survived and came to kill him there was no one else. Lance coughed wetly, not able to bring his hand up to cover his mouth, he cracked a dry grin, trying to force his eyes to adjust faster so he could look up at Keith. 

“Just five more minuets?” he managed to cough out. His chest protested every word, shuttering and rattling whenever he took a breath let alone spoke. He could see the curve of Keith's very distinguishing mullet. It was framed and glowing, like a halo, in the harsh sunlight that dripped like liquid between the spaces in the leaves above.

Lance wanted Keith to call him an idiot, he wanted him to yell at him for being an idiot, for getting hurt and putting their mission in jeopardy, like he usually did when something went wrong. 

He must be in pretty bad shape to not even get a flick or a hissed insult from the red paladin. 

Keith Just continued dragging Lance away by his underarms from Blue lion. Lance wondered If Keith had been injured too, he didn't have the strength to twist his head and check but if Keith could drag Lance through a muddy swamp he must be at least a little fine... right?

“What? Not talking... are you pissed I -” A rack of coughs shuddered through him, Lance reached up shakily to wipe his mouth and came back with a handful of warm sticky blood, he stared at it for a moment, dazed, before dropping his arm back to the water and watching the stuff turn inky and drift away in the current. He didn't remember what he was about to say.

Keith propped Lance against a large rock close-ish to the red lion, which still lay on her side, and bent down in front of Lance. Lance was struggling to keep his eyes open now, he really wished that weren't the case because, since when were Keiths eyes this blue and sparkly. he felt soft pats on his face and managed to focuse a little more to realize Keith was moving his lips frantically but...

Lance couldn't hear a single word.

suddenly he became aware of just how quiet everything was, the chirping bugs had suddenly gone silent, the strong winds that rustled the trees seemed to of stopped, the splashes of water that Keiths boots must of made earlier weren't registering. 

Lance formed an o shape with his mouth,“Oh,” But he heard nothing. “Oh.” he said again louder, but still nothing. Keith stopped moving his mouth, his eyebrows pinched tightly together, he chewed on his bottom lip and cupped Lance's face with both hands. There was a pretty bad cut just under his left eye, a steady trail of blood trailed down his cheek and off his chin. Keith raised an eyebrow to Lance, quirking his lip, And if Lance knew Keith, he was probably saying something along the lines of 'did you hit your head or something.'

But Lance couldn't read lips that well. It was just a guess, and suddenly Keith was gone, getting up and dashing across the swamp towards Red lion. Lance watched the ripples in the swamp Keith's shoes made swirl and collide and imagined the noise they'd make but didn't hear anything. He brought a shaking hand up to his ear and snapped,

Nothing.

No way, Lance pressed his hands against the side of his head, covering his ears, recoiling when his temples protested. He pulled his hands away that were now covered in his own blood. Lance didn't know much about medical things, aside from the few lessons the palidans had gotten, but bleeding out of your ears couldn't be good for you. His throat felt tight. 

Now that Keith wasn't obstructing his vision Lance got a good full view of Blue Lion, or what was left of her. She now lay on her back, the chest cavity completely gone, wires and tiny electrical fires and shards of metal hang off her at all sorts of horrifying ways, the head bent completely backwards, as if it had snapped on impact, the metal spine of the Lion was jutting out from what used to be the neck and-

And Lance couldn't help it, seeing her in that state was too much for him to handel on top of all the pain. You could say he pulled a Hunk, promptly turning his head over the side of the rock and throwing up all over them. Luckily it was just bile and he managed to move his head just enough so it didn't go all over his uniform, Allura would murder him if he came back with a ruined suit. 

Lance coughed and dry heaved violently, his chest burning so bad he thought there might be a literal fire from the crash down there. Then finally, his head stopped spinning, and the burning faded. 

The pain in his chest suddenly made more sense, Palidans were connected to their pilots weren't they? That must be why Lance felt like his own chest cavity had been ripped out. 

He shuddered, okay that really wasn't the best thing to be thinking about right now. Happy thoughts, he thought to himself, like keiths weird sparkly eyes and glowy mullet. 

There was no way he could bare facing his Lion anymore, he forced himself to his knees, then to his feet. Unfortunately his left leg gave out instantly and he landed face first into the swamp, algae and water very rudely forcing it's way up his nostrils and mouth, he tried to get his arms under his chest so he could lift himself up over the crest of the water but he lost all his strength just standing up, Instead he managed to roll onto his side, half his face out of the water. The cost was igniting another bout of searing pain as his ribs rolled against the dirt and rocks underneath him. 

He wished the water was deeper so his chest wouldn't have to suffer and he could just swim. Did he even have enough strength so swim though? 

Lance was an amazing swimmer, that wasn't even bragging, it was true. Back home he could swim circles around all his family members. His sisters would literally fight over who got him on their water tag team when they were kids. 

How ironic would it be if he died from drowning, his sisters would definitely make fun of him for it. 

Where the fuck was Keith, it felt like he left him here forever ago though. He didn't know what manual, what training course or exercise could of prepared him for this. Stranded and wounded in the middle of swampy mountainous no where with Keith of all people.

Lance fought the urge to pass out with everything he had but eventually he started drifting out of consciousness.

Before he could drift off completely, Lance felt a strong gentle hands roll him over and help him sit up. it hurt like hell, he couldn't tell what kind of noises he was making but highly doubted they were pretty. Keith pulled him up and over his shoulder Lances ribs screamed for him to stop, Lance screamed for him to stop too, so Keith did, lowering him back against the rock Lance just threw up all over. 

Keiths mouth was moving again, his eyes wide and panicked... that wasn't a very familiar look from him. It was kinda cute in a way. 

Lance grinned the best he could, raising his hand up to point at his ears and say, “I can't hear anything.”

Keiths face fell, his mouth actually opened, like in a cartoon or something. He moved it much slower, forming each word with enough care that Lance could actually kind of make it out, even with his vision blurring and his head swimming. 

'Are you sure?' 

Lance wanted to laugh, but it would hurt so he opted out of it. 

“Pretty damn sure.” there was no way to tell if the words formed correctly, he just prayed for the best.

Keith mouthed something about the healing pods, Lance nodded, not losing his smile, “My chest sort of hurts”(understantment of the week) “carry me like one of your french girls.” he joked half heartedly. 

Lance wanted Keith to throw sass at him for the bad and misplaced joke, get mad, be annoyed like he would In other situations. But Keith didn't look annoyed, or mad, he didn't even say- mouth anything back.

He put his head down, sliding one arm under Lance's legs, another around his back and lifted him carefully, lugging him towards The red lion, every step Jostled Lance's ribs, Lance just prayed he wasn't making too many gross sounds. 

* * * 

Lance must of passed out somewhere between the thick brown swamp and the Lion because the next thing he knew He was on his back on the cool grated floor in Red lion. The sudden shuddering stop that came with docking on the ship must of woken him. 

It felt like he'd time traveled or something, one moment swamp, next moment sky ship. Maybe he was actually just in a really drawn out fever dream, and would wake up in his dorm soon to Hunk snoring in the bunk above him.

Lance could feel something soft under his head, he wanted to reach up and see what it was but was having trouble gathering the strength, “Hey.” Lance croaked, half to test his ears, half to get Keith's attention. 

He still couldn't hear a thing. Lance breathed shallowly, as his ribs didn't allow any other type of breathing, and lay as still as he could so he wouldn't hurt himself anymore. 

He really wished someone would dump water on him, the ship, the suit, his skin, everything was boiling.

Finally Keith came into sight, his eyes wide, his brows still pinched together in a horrible look of guilt and worry. A lose black hair dangled over left eye, His hands hovered over Lance for a moment before he turned on heel a sprinted out of the lion. Lance tried to tell him to stay, he really really didn't want to be left alone right now, but words didn't come in time. He practically blinked and Keith was gone. 

He knew he should just stay put, he knew he should just wait for someone to come down and pick him off the floor and help him to a healing pod but Lance just didn't feel like waiting.

Lance shakily propped himself up with his elbows, then shifted to the side so he could get on his knees, every little move sent a new twinge of pain or ache or something through him that was unpleasant and awful. His breathing became ragged, his lungs burned, his bones suttered but eventually Lance made it to his knees.

Now turned around he saw just what was under his head, a bright red Jacket, Keith's very dear bright red Jacket. It was stained with darker red now, blood that definitely came out of him. He'd remember to pay him back later or something. 

He took a second to breath the fire out of his lungs, grabbed Keith's jacket in his left first and then reached out for the pilot chair to grab onto, his left arm wasn't moving properly, he could barely raise it so lance gripped the leather with his right hand an picked himself carefully off the floor, one arm couldn't support his weight though, he lost his grip on the chair and went down adn would of hit the floor if it weren't for the arms wrapping around him and pulling up, the metal of an arm shining in the harsh light of the lion's interior.

Lance leaned back into what he assumed to be Shiro's firm chest, just looking for something solid to cling to. Before he passed out again, he Saw Keith out of the corner of his eye, kneeling down in front of him, that stupid worried expression still on his face.


	2. The Cryo-room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> grab the tissues kids

When the doors open to Red's cockpit, Keith's blood runs cold, his eyes locked on a struggling but standing Lance, who's fist clamped so tightly around Keith's jacket that his knuckles were going white. A pool of blood sat under him where Keith had laid him down. It was hard to look away from, it was hard to even gather any thoughts or sense of action. 

And then Lance howled in pain as he put pressure on his bad leg, the sound of his scream so jostling that it froze Keith in place. Shiro was the one who acted, stepping forward and just barely managing to catch Lance. 

Keith hadn't even realized that Lance was falling.

Then Keith stumbled around to the front of Lance, dropping to his knees as Lance whimpered and choked and blood fell from his mouth, adding to the puddle on the ground. 

Keith felt nausea welling up, tying his stomach in knots as he knelt, helpless in helping the blue paladin. “Lance,” he manages, reaching out to cup Lance's face, do something comforting he stops just shy, not sure where to put his hand. Both of Lance's ears are bleeding, there's blood caked in the corners of his mouth, and his eyes are shut tight, his breathing too labored, too shallow.

Coran steps forward, leaning over Shiro to get a look at Lance, Keith can practically see his mustache deflate“We have to get 'im to the pods, come on.” Shiro blinked down at Lance as if he were just seeing him and grimaced, carefully lifting his body, turning his head to Keith. 

“He'll... be alright.” Shiro said over his shoulder, it soundned like he was trying to convince himself as well. Allura lead the way out of the lion, Shiro following close behind. 

Keith stayed kneeling, images of Lance, pale bloodied and covered in a thin sheen of sweat playing over and over. He looked so small in Shiro's arms, so quiet and weak and wrong.

And the noises. Despite his obvious attempt to bite them back, were awful. Wheezes and moans and hisses of pain taking turns.

Keith was shaken when he felt Coran's hand on his shoulder, he'd completely forgotten that the man was still there. “Keith... your eye looks like it needs some stitches, why don't we getcha to medical and you can go over what happened.” Keith swallowed thickly, running his hands down his face once, trying to get himself together, before looking up to Coran and nodding silently. 

* * * 

Keith left out exactly how the crash had happened, when he told Coran his story. 

He felt like a coward but just couldn't bring himself to tell the mustached Altean that the reason Lance was so injured, and the mission had gone so wrong, was because Keith had to be saved.

so he explained how a simple mission to collect the rare plant species, on a planet thought to be civilian, had suddenly turned into a full blown Galran ambush. Lance's lion had been destroyed and left down in the swamps somewhere, and Keith had to abandon their mission and bring Lance back in red.

upon hearing that Blue was still down and retrievable ,now that the enemies had fled, Coran left, “I'll get Pidge and Shiro on that right away.” he said, a purposeful stride in his steps stopping for a pause when he reached the sliding doorway. He turned his head back just slightly, so Keith got a sympathetic profile view., “Join Hunk and Allura in the cryo -room when you're ready, and be careful around bright lights.” 

It took Keith a full hour to psych himself up, He kicked his feet over the patient bed nervously, paced around the room, stared at himself in a tiny operation mirror. Coran had brought him his clothes so he slipped them on, except for his jacket, which Lance had never let go of. 

His hair was all over the place, sticking up with sweat and matting to his forehead, his eyes had bags under them from stress and the thick bandage just barely above his eye covered thick black stitches underneath. Keith peeked, sighing as he noted it would leave a nasty scar. 

what kind of scars would Lance have after this... Before Keith's mind could wander any further in that direction he pat his cheeks, stubbornly pushing the thoughts aside. It didn't matter right now, what mattered was that he was okay. Keith didn't even know if he was okay. 

The walk to the cryo -room felt longer than it should of, Coran was right about the lights, they were harsh, giving him a sharp headache between his eyes before even reaching the pods, When he walked in, Allura's head snapped to look at him. Hunk, who was staring intently at the only raised cryo pod, followed suit. 

Keith locked eyes with him for a good few seconds before all the tension left Hunk's body and he came over, hugging Keith a little too tightly.

Allura sighed in relief from her position, offering Keith a strained smile. “I'm glad you're alright.”

“Yeah.” Hunk chimed in, loosening his grip. “it's a good thing you both didn't get hurt!” Keith felt a pang of guilt, Hunk's eyes were red and he sniffled, wiping quickly at them as he ended their hug.

Keith picked at a finger of his gloves, not able to force himself to look at the occupied cryo pod just yet.

“Allura, how is he?”

instead of saying he was fine, like Keith had so desperately hoped, she pierced her lips, eyes flickering from Keith to Lance. “He's, somewhat stable.” 

the words coast over Keith like a tsunami, manifesting as a shaky breath, clenching fists at his side, face hot, “What do you mean 'somewhat'.” the words come spitting out before Keith can curb himself.

Allura held his stare, eyes suddenly cold.

Keith exhaled sharply, trying to sound less angry when he asked, “Is he going to be okay?”

Allura turned from him, resuming her work, tapping and sliding buttons around on the screen, “It would take at least a week in the cryo pod to cure injuries this severe.”

a week. Keith felt his breath hitch, he took a step towards her, “but I thought humans weren't supposed to stay in pods that long, Coran said twenty four hours was already pressing the limit. Lance could-” 

“I know what Coran said.” Allura replied, a stubborn resolve in her voice. She looked tired, even though just a few hours earlier she'd been fine. 

Keith felt himself beginning to shake, anger that he'd tried pushing down now resurfaced, muddling his thoughts. “So what? You're just going to keep him in there until his body shuts down?” Allura didn't look away from the screen. “that's not much of a plan considering Lance could die-” Hunk suddenly stepped in, gripping Keith's shoulder so tightly it shocked some sense back into him, he looked up at Hunk, who smiled, eyes still puffy from crying, his face flushed, Keith hated seeing the big guy look so sad,

“Keith it's okay, just let Allura explain.” he pulled Keith back a few steps, which Keith hadn't even realized he'd taken. “She wants to help Lance just as much as you do.” 

Of course she did, they wouldn't be able to form Voltron without Lance, and on top of that she was Lance's teammate, and friend. Keith took a breath to try and stop himself from shaking, Hunk's firm hand helped keep him grounded. He half wanted to punch something and half wanted to apologize. ”I'm just-...” 

Hunk's smile softened to something warm and calming, “It's okay, you've been through a lot.” he said, then sighed, “Allura?” 

the princess finish tapping on the screen, brushed her hands together and stepped away from Lance's pod. 

“Lance isn't stable as he is right now, so my plan is to release him the second he is.” he opened her mouth to continued but Hunk cut in.

“We agreed to let him out in three days, even if he's not better. Because by that point the cryo pod will start shutting down his organs.” Allura looked away, like she wanted to say something else.

Hunk was starting to talk himself into accurate circles, like he often did when he was thinking. Keith swallowed, pushing back a wave of nausea and forced himself to look at Lance. 

The loudest paladin looked so wrong suspended like that, completely silent, the blueish green glow of the pod reflecting off his skin, causing it to be void of vibrancy. 

His injuries looked angrier in this light, the white suit leaving nothing but contrast for the bright red cuts and purple bruises. Keith pressed his forehead against the pod to keep himself from falling over, staring down at his shaking hands. 

This was his fault. 

* * *

Luckily, Pidge and Shiro had found blue. It only took a few hours to locate her, still laid on her side in the middle of the murkey swamp, no one had moved her.

When Pidge finally saw Keith alive and well with her own two eyes, she sighed loudly with relief. Then she pat his head, “I know you were in a rush to get Lance's blue ass back here,” Pidge said, plopping to sit down next to him, “but you could of at least sent a message to let us know you weren't dead.”

Shiro pat him on the back too hard, in the brotherly way he did sometimes, “Don't worry about the mission, you did good bringing Lance back here.” Keith couldn't look him In the eye after that, the feelings of guilt where too strong for him to focus. 

He'd apologized to Allura, with Hunk's encouragement, and to his surprise, she forgave him instantly and apologized right back.

The ticks ticked on as they all sat in the cryo -room, anxiety leaching on everyone in the room until Pidge couldn't take it anymore and decided to start repairs on Blue. Witth Coran and Allura's help of course. Keith offered but Coran wouldn't allow it, “You may not be as bad as Lance is but you're still injured, grab some hydration fluid and take it easy for today.” 

Keith couldn't bring himself to protest in time and suddenly everyone was gone, on their separate tasks and he was left alone with Lance. 

* * * 

The first day wasn't too bad. Allura had arranged a rotation schedule, so that everyone would have an hour at a time with Lance, it was in case the pod released him earlier than expected and someone needed to help. 

Keith was always there. Keith was almost always there despite the schedule, he made up the excuse that the cryo -room was the coldest in the castle and his headache went away with the cold air. No one really pressed him on it because Keith even missed training. And Keith never missed training.

It was better when he was alone because he felt a little less guilty keeping the truth from people when there was no one to keep it from. Lance wasn't looking any better by the end of the first day, his skin had gone even paler, and a thin sheen of sweat was visible, even behind the strange tinted glass. 

“Maybe it's a worse before it's better type deal.” Pidge had commented unsurely during one of her watches.

* * *

Every so often, starting from the second day, the cryo pod would make an awful noise, alerting that the settings needed to be adjusted. When Keith first heard the blaring alarm he'd nearly jumped for the release button, Coran, who had been on his watch, managed to catch his arm just in time.

Allura then called a meeting and explained to everyone it was because the cryo pod knew their kind weren't supposed to stay in for this long. Lance was still holding up under the pod and he wasn't stable yet. They decided to keep him in.

Keith slept, leaning against the pod that night, a thin sheet from his bed wrapped around him, he didn't wake Hunk up for his shift, he took the slot instead. If he was going to be up he might as well let Hunk sleep a little longer, he for sure seemed like he needed it. The stress of his best friend being in such a state had left Hunk with dark bags under his eyes and a constant look of 'i'm about to jump out of my fricken skin.' a little sleep would do him good.

* * * 

Keith woke up the morning of the third day, not able to remember falling asleep. It took him a groggy few moments to realize that he wasn't home and he wasn't in his room, he was in the cryo pod room and the thing that had woken him up was the loud hiss of steam and pod doors opening. 

It was such a sudden realization, that he barely managed to get to his knees in time to catch Lance. 

They fell to the floor in a loud heap of limbs, Lance's body was completely limp, with far less muscle than Keith remembered feeling just just three days ago. His body was freezing cold, but Lance wasn't shivering, he wasn't doing anything. 

Keith's hands wouldn't stop shaking as he turned Lance over, horrified to see that his ears were caked with dried blood, and something cold and wet was dripping out of his open mouth. 

“Lance.” Keith breathed at the blue paladin. “Lance!?”

* * *

It feels like he's underwater. Deep deep underwater floating aimlessly to no specific destination, but he doesn't feel anything, he doesn't see anything or hear anything and then suddenly he does.

He feels pain, a lot of it, more than he could remember feeling all at once, and of all different, awful in their own special kind of way, variations. 

Aches in his chest, throbbing in his head, spasm's in his legs, stabbing in his ears, burning in his eyes, gnawing in his stomach.

He has no idea where he is, can't see anything but a blurry blue tower, can't hear anything but a faded voice that might be familiar, and the sound of loud ocean currents in his ears,

So naturally, Lance sits bolt right and starts screaming. 

This proves instantly to be a mistake, as his voice doesn't even really work, the sound comes out in a halted, cracked scream and someone is grabbing him around his chest, pressing on his ribs which turn to fire and burn him from the inside out, flames erupting from his mouth and he can't do anything but lose himself to the world of unconsciousness, realizing that the voice was Keith just a little too late. 

* * *

Keith feels Lance go limp, falling back against his chest and Keith has to fall with him, landing hard on his back. Breath hitching as he hastily moves to set Lance off of him, avoiding the puddle of stomach acid, or whatever else had just come out of him. “Lance!” Keith yells, voice giving out halfway through the name as he looks the blue paladin over. 

Lance looks like a corpse, his cheeks gaunt, his eye sockets sunken, his body so much thinner than before the accident. Keith forces himself to calm down enough to check Lance's breathing, putting his face down to Lance's mouth to feel his breaths.

But there's nothing. 

“no no nonono. Lance!” Keith goes against his better judgement and shakes him, probably jostling his remaining injuries even more, but if he did he gives no indication of it.

It takes a second of full panic mode to remember what he was taught in basics. He hastily brings his com up to his mouth, Yelling frantically into it for help, Lance is out, not breathing, help.

Keith throws the thing away and tips Lance's head back, brushing aside stray hairs in his face and pausing for only half a second before pressing his lips hard against Lance's. He breaths air into his lungs, waiting a few second then does it again, Lance's lips are dried and cracked and his mouth is sour from whatever he'd thrown up and Keith doesn't give a shit. 

It feels like hours before Shiro comes racing through the hallway doors, quickly followed by everyone else, save for Allura and Coran, who's quarters were further away in the castle. 

Just as Shiro skids to his knees, stopping in front Of Lances limp body, the paladin coughs and chokes, blue eyes cracking open.

Together Shiro and Keith manage to pull Lance to his side, he throws up something besides stomach acid. Something black and gooey and awful looking, whole body scrunching painfully,Keith almost yells out, but then Lance breaths, a big shaky breath, and another and another.

eventually he actually says something. 

It's quiet and croaky and almost impossible to make out, somehow Keith does anyway.

“Blue?” Lance says, then nothing else. He's just breathing terrible painful sounding breaths, The rattles of his ribs practically audible.

“S-she's alright.” Someone says, probably Pidge, who's now taken a kneeling position next to Keith, it sounds like she's crying,

Keith lowers his head, biting his lip hard to keep from doing the same.

Lance is alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP, looks like we escaped the 'major character death' tag yayy
> 
> LOOL okay so i hope you liked this painful ass chapter, lmk what you think <3 
> 
> So far i think this is going to be about 5-6 chapters long, I'm not sure yet but that's what I think will end up happening. Thank you for reading :000 !!


	3. The wing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter chapter than usual! hopefully I'll be able to upload faster for the next one!  
> Comments/kudos are really appreciated!!

Lance is absolutely thankful that he's not fully conscious for his first hour out of the cryo pod. He spends It held up by Hunk over a toilet in the medical wing puking whatever the fuck that black goop was that had fermented in his stomach. Then being forced to drink a sickly sweet type of hydration fluid that tastes so bad he's sort of glad he throws it back up every time. 

Eventually, the worst is over, And Lance is so exhausted he can't keep his head up, and Hunk, (aka. The best friend ever) helps him out of the bathroom into a weirdly shaped bed In the medical bay.

Someone hands him a little trash can, which he pitifully accepts.

He only had control over one arm, the other was tightly bandaged up in a sling, and he can't remember who had dressed his injuries or even when,

He would find out and thank them later. He owned so many people apologies by this point he decided to make a list. 

For Hunk to Shiro to Keith.

The room became thirty degrees colder when he remembered Keith. He couldn't recall why but an awful sense of worry sat in his chest like a rock. Lance feverishly put the trash can aside and tried to get up, he had to find Keith make sure he was alright. 

Hunk grabbed him, forced him back to sit on the table. Lance struggled but either hunk was twice as strong as he'd remembered or Lance was twice as weak. 

He needed to apologize for getting blood all over his jacket-. And for leaving blue, tipped over on her side, her neck pulled back exposing her complex wiring- he forced back a gag, clutching the trash can in his lap tightly. 

“Lance Can you hear me?” it sounded like he was underwater, but he could hear. 

Lance forced himself to look up, Coran was standing in front of him, holding a flashlight. He could hear Coran, to his absolute relief, but he couldn't really process what he was saying. Lance just wanted to sleep, sleep away the terrible dizzy feelings. 

But he couldn't sleep yet He had to see Keith. “Hunk.” his voice cracked, and rasped. Hunk held him a little tighter. “Where's Keith?” 

Lance let his head lull against Hunk's shoulder, he was so warm and it was freezing, he watched through cracked eyes and blurred vision, as Coran and Hunk exchanged a quick look.

* * *

Keith jerked up from his place on the bed, half expecting Lance to be standing in the doorway to his room.

Pidge looked at him for a few seconds before groaning, “He won't stop asking about you.” It's the first thing that comes out of her mouth, Keith sit's himself more upright. 

Right after Lance had woken up from the cryo-pod he'd started throwing up, something black and gooey and terrible. Hunk couldn't get him to the medical wing quick enough, and the door was practically shut in Keith's face. 

He wanted to wait inside, with Coran Allura Shiro and Hunk but... Shiro had insisted he wait in his room instead. Pidge had waited with him at first but she was restless, pacing back and forth in his room and spouting all sorts of nervous ramblings, until finally she couldn't take it anymore and left to keep herself busy. 

She'd finally returned. 

“He's talking?” Keith asked, dropping the cocoon of blankets he'd formed around himself

“sort of,”

“So he can hear?” 

Pidge nods, sitting down next to him.“He's responding to voices so yea.” the relief that settles throughout Keith actually knocked the wind out of him. he clutched the fabric of his t-shirt, swinging his feet off the bed. 

“Good,” Keith looked up at Pidge who's expression was tight, lips pierced, eyes cast downwards. “That is good right?” 

“It would be but you need to come see him.” 

“Why.”

Pidge rubbed the spot between her eyes, her clothes were stained with something that looked like oil. “He won't stop asking for you and Hunk thinks it would like, help or something.”

Keith stood up immediately, and a little too. “Let's go.”

* * *

The medical bay was a long room with high ceilings and a row of beds that stretched across one entire wall. All kinds of strange alien medical equipment lined the wall opposite to the beds, sharp instruments and beeping made the whole room eerie. The bright Florecent lights had all been dimmed, probably for Lance's sake.

Coran appeared out of no where, “Oh Keith, good come right over here will ya?” Keith timidly made his way over, Not able to see Lance over Hunk's frame. Coran stopped him before he got too close. “Pidge told you?”

“I warned him on the walk over here, Lance looks like shit, Keith knows, now let him see Lance.” Coran rubbed his mustache thoughtfully, nodded and gestured for them to go over. 

Lance looked even worse than Keith had expected. He carefully took a seat, next to Hunk, in a second seat near the top of the bed.

Lance was thin, much more thin than he had been a few days ago, and his cheeks were gaunt, eyes bloodshot and far away, but open. 

Even with all the time in the pod he still had some injuries. His suit had been removed, leaving only his binder and underwear. Strange sores peppered his arms and legs, his skin, which was always kept in peek condition was blotchy and pale. 

Keith swallowed, black something was smeared down the side of his lip, as if it had come from his mouth. Keith realized then that it had actually come from his mouth. 

“Pidge come with me.” Coran gripped Pidge's shoulder tightly, taking her out of the room while calling over his shoulder to Hunk about how they'd be back soon, he needed her help with something.

Lance stared at him for a good few seconds before giving a slow blink and cracking a shaking smile. “Hey.” he slurred, his voice was soft and raspy, as if talking and louder would be painful. After waiting Keith realized that Lance wasn't going to finish,

Keith cleared his throat, “Hey, how are you feeling?” He said lamely, voice breaking.

Lance swallowed, he looked like he was going to answer for a second, but then closed his eyes instead.  
Keith looked over to Hunk, who shrugged in a way that said 'don't look at me.'

“Lance?” fluttering eyelashes turned to face him, it took a moment for his eyes to refocus on Keith, and then he gasped, his mouth opened, his good hand reaching up to grab for something, Keith took Lance's hand, leaning forward. “Lance what is it?” 

Lance's eyes flicked, up and down Keith's face and body, “Keith, you're okay?” he managed, quietly. 

Here Lance was, cryo-sick, injured, throwing up black gunk and asking if Keith was okay? Lance's eyes were wide, scared, it was an expression only someone much younger would wear. 

Keith nodded, gripping Lance's hand tighter, were they always so bony? “I'm fine, Lance you idiot I'm fine.” 

Lance let a breath out this time, his throat tightening and cutting it short. Tears welled up in Lance's eyes and Keith has to fight the urge to reach up and brush them away. The blue paladin cracked a weak smile, a giggle slipped from his chapped lips.

It was weak, and raspy but in that moment the best thing Keith had heard in a long time.“Why are you laughing,?” 

Lance tipped his head further back against the pillow and sighed shakily, watching his chest move in such a strained way, you could almost see his ribs scraping together.

“I thought I was in heaven for a second there.” Lance laughs, “Because you're here and I kind of thought you were-” he swallows thickly, as if it's hard to say, “dead...: Keith takes the word in like he's breathing air. “we're not dead right?”

“No Lance, I'm not dead and you're definitely not in heaven.”

“I think I realized that when you called me an idiot.” Lance smirked.

Keith carefully put Lance's hand back down to his side, smiling to him the best he could manage. “Good.”  
Lance looked at him for a while after that, as if he was still trying to come to terms with the fact that Keith wasn't dead, and neither was he.

Lance opened his mouth, as if he were going to say something else then closed his eyes, wincing and turning several shades paler. “Damn it.” he moaned, “Hunk-” 

Keith was so consumed with Lance that he had actually forgotten the big guy's presence in the room.“Keith move!,” Keith backed up quickly and Hunk was there in a second, holding a small trash can in front of Lance, while helping him sit up, the second it was in front of Lance's mouth he threw up, gripping the can, retching violently, tears squeezing in the corners of his eyes, body convulsing dramatically. 

The same black slime came out, poor Lance was left dry heaving and spitting. Then he went limp, Hunk was too occupied holding the can to grab Lance so Keith quickly gripped Lance's shoulder to keep him from toppling over the side.

While the event happened, Keith had involuntarily brought a hand up to his face. Dropping it quickly when he realized where it was resting. 

When Lance was laid back down he looked even worse, the circles under his eyes now deepened, sweat dripping down his face and neck. He coughed wetly to the side, facing away from the two of them, as if he were embarrassed. The tips of his ears were red. 

“You okay bud?” Hunk asked, receiving a weak thumbs up as a reply.

Hunk took the can away, “Please, help him get resituated, I've got to, uh empty this.” Keith nodded timidly as Hunk took off out of the room, Leaving the two of them alone. 

Lance just lay, breathing harshly. He was either not able, or refusing to turn his head and face Keith who stumbled over to the other side of Lance's bed. 

There were wipes on the side table which Keith took, he fumbled to pull one out for just a moment before going to clean the corner of lance's mouth. He had no idea what he was doing, and no idea how to be comforting so he just silently begun to clean, Lance's eyes were shut tight, slowly cracking open as Keith cleaned his Lip, then the sweat on his brow. Two streaks of tears had fallen down his face, mixing with his blush, making his nose run. Keith wiped that up too.

Then Lance laughed, an awful wheezing and dangerously foreign to Lance laugh. All dry with no humor at all. “damn, I really didn't want you to see that.” He slurred. 

Keith pierced his lips tightly. “Just try to stay still.” 

Lance cleared his throat, he was trying hard not to tear up again, “I-I can do it myself, give me the wipe.” He swallowed, “C'mon, hand it to me.” Keith watched as Lance desperately tried to gather enough strength to raise his arm up and take the wipe away from Keith .

Keith felt his chest swell with guilt, the little voice in the back of his head reminding him that this, everything that had happened to Lance was his fault. Keith cleared his throat, to keep it from breaking, “Lance, you can't even move right now just be quiet, you're fine.” 

“Are you telling me that or yourself that.” Lance moved his head to the side closing his eyes, reminding Keith of a fussy toddler, the next time he tried to wipe the gunk from his mouth. Even in this state Lance was stubborn as hell. Keith was sort of grateful that at least one Lance trait was still out in plain sight.

“Lance.” Keith said sternly, cupping the blue paladins face with his free hand, “Stop it.” and Lance did stop, almost exclusively because he'd fallen back asleep. Keith watched Lance's chest rise and fall steadily, though his breaths were labored, for a while. suddenly he realized that he was supposed to be 'resituating' Lance.

Keith finished up, dropping the Wipes in a second trash can that lay by Lance's bed. He very slowly and carefully adjusts Lance's head to a more comfortable spot against his pillow and takes his seat once again, bouncing his leg impatiently as he waited for Hunk to return.


	4. The Shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh..... so it's been more than a month but like ...............  
> okay I have no excuse but I'll be able to get another chapter up FAR SOONER this time
> 
> yayy
> 
> also please keep in mind that Lance is very self critical in this so he's not exactly the most reliable narrator. alright let's gooo

According to Coran, Lance was healing at an exceptional rate. 

This bit of information could of fooled lance however, who after spending an entire week in bed, only allowed to get up to be carried the few feet to a washroom and back to bed, felt like his healing process was taking an exceptionally long time.

And to top it all off, he looked terrible.

The crypod had sapped away some of his muscle mass, he looked far too thin for his own liking. His skin care routine had way to many steps to keep up with and a cluster of acne he'd worked so hard to keep away had formed to the left of his chin and his hair which was usually full and vibrant, was greasy and limp,

Lance pulled at one of his dark eyebags, wondering if they'd ever go back to their normal color.

The illusion of 'Lance' he'd been struggling so hard to keep up had finally fallen off the tracks, no one would be fooled by his bravado anymore or ever again.

He was absolutely pathetic, ruining the mission how he did, getting so injured how he did, forcing everyone to wait on him as he did. 

Lance sighed, at least he'd stopped puking (for the most part). 

“you okay?” Pidge asked, peeking behind her deck of cards. She'd managed to find an old assortment of Altean playing cards, Coran had told them the complicated rules but they didn't make sense even after the fifth explanation.

Even so, the colors were bright and the drawings were beautiful. They figured they could at least play go fish with them.

Lance tipped his head to the side, realizing then that he'd been holding his cards in plain view, and zoning out, he managed to collect himself, tilting his cards back out of view and sighing dramatically, “I bet-” his voice cracked, as it did now when he begun talking, no one had made fun of him for it not even once. Lance cleared his throat, “ I bet you could name all my cards back to me right now, in perfect order.” 

Pidge tilted her head feigning innocence for only a second before a shit eating grin spread across her face, “alright Mcclain, you got me.” 

He laughed, folding his cards together, “Damn Pidge, and here I thought you had class.” 

Pidge let out an amused puff of air, “You know me way better than that, and besides I'm not the one who exposed my deck for all the world to see.” 

“You got me there.” he held the folded deck for her to take, which she did. 

Pidge begun to reshuffle, but Lance put his hand up to stop her. “Oh, you don't want to play anymore?” 

Lance shook his head no, glancing over to the clock. Everyone on ship had been on a tight schedule of keeping watch over him, because he wasn't supposed to get up on his own. It was embarrassing to have to depend on everyone like this, Lance hated it with a fury, already aware that he was the weakest link in the group. “Your 'shifts' almost done anyway.” the words sounded harsher than he'd meant. 

Pidge pierced her lips at this, “You know it's not like that Lance,”

Lance knew it was uncalled for but he was grumpy, space was a lot more boring when you were confined to one room. “I'm sorry I didn't mean it.” Pidge smiled sadly at him, reaching out and patting his arm, 

“Yeah I know,” 

Lance couldn't help but laugh, “What are you doing?” 

Pidge took her hand away and shrugged, “comforting you? I'm not good at this stuff.” 

“It shows.” he grinned. 

“Yeah well it's lucky for you, I'm pretty sure Hunk has the next watch.” She stood, wrapping a band around the deck and placing them on the side table next to the bed, her eyes shifted to the clock, “hmm he's late. As much as I love kicking your ass at go fish I have some upgrades to fix up green with...” it wasn't her intention obviously but the statement hit him with more than a little weight. He was being a burden again.

Lance nodded his head towards the door, “You can go I'm sure he'll be here any moment, and I've been dying for a little bit of alone time... no offense.” that was a lie, as much as he hated everyone seeing him like this, he was quick to be lonely. 

Pidge shrugged sympathetically, “none taken. Are you sure you'll be good?” 

“Yeah yeah, I'm a tough guy, I'll be fine.” Lance jokes breezily, “Give Blue a pet for me will ya?”

“I will.” she waved as she stepped through the automatic entrance to the medical wing. 

* * * 

Hunk didn't show up after five more minuets or ten more minuets, at about half an hour past his time Lance realized there must have been some sort of mix up. Which meant he'd probably be alone for the next few hours.

Maybe he could force himself to up to take a walk or a proper shower.

Before he could consider the option any longer he's carefully dragging his legs over the edge of the bed, he has to actually pick them up one at a time with his good arm and plop them over the edge. His sling had been upgraded to a brace which he could move around freely. He held it against his chest, in an attempt to keep the jostling to a minimum. 

There was a pulling sensation in his ribs, suddenly and sharply and Lance couldn't help but lean sideways over them, his fist pressed firmly to the sheets of the bed, his other arm still pulled tightly against his chest. He lets out a pitiful groan. 

Most of the injuries had dimmed to aches, not dull enough to ignore but better than they had been. It was mostly due to the numbing shit he'd been injected with, as Allura had much more elegantly explained.

Lance took time to even out his breathing before straightening his body. Sweat was already beading on his brow from the simple act of sitting up. He considered laying back down.

Pathetic. 

Lance steeled himself, lowering his brows in determination. It was just a trip to the bathroom, it didn't have to be so complicated. 

He gripped the side of the bed, and carefully managed to push himself to his feet, his bad leg buckled under the weight, but he managed to catch himself with his shoulder on the wall next to him. Lance breathed heavily, raggedly, his ribs burned, but he could manage. He could move forward, so he did, strategically placing his feet in front of each other, leaning heavily against the wall. 

It took him more than a few ticks to get to the door that lead out to the hallway. He was tired of the medical wing smell, he was going to get to the bathrooms on the far side of the corridor.

The walk was doable, his body shook with effort and he had to stop several times, just to lean his back against the wall and give his leg a break. He was sweating so much by the time he finally got there, it felt as if he'd already taken a shower. Ew.

The wall led straight through the doors, Lance's vision dipped and swam and he never actually noticed that he wall had come to a stop until he pitched sideways and landed heavily on his side. 

Pain rippled like waves through his body and Lance couldn't help the breathy scream that time, it cut through his throat like a razor, and he was very thankful that no one was around to hear such an awful noise come out of him.

“Lance?!”

So he might of spoken to soon. 

Keith stares down at Lance, who lay curled up on the floor, writhing slightly and trying his best to ride out the rest of the pain, for just a moment before dropping down to his knees next to him. Keith bends down, attempts to help him up but lance recoils with a gasp of pain

“Don't touch me.” Lance hisses out, and Keith flinches as if he'd just been slapped. 

Lance feels nausea welling up in his throat from the pain and he really thought he was finally done with this. “Sorry-” he manages to breath out before the black acidy goop comes spilling from his mouth, a sickening gag causing him to close in on himself. 

“Shit!” Keith cries, Lance barely hears it through his own coughing and gagging. 

Pathetic. 

At least the nausea had cleared up.

Keith crawls a little closer, careful to avoid the puddle of gunk “A-are you okay?” Lance replies with a nod. Keith hovers awkwardly over him, obviously not sure what to do “Wait here I'm getting Shiro-”

“No!” Lance can't help the frustrated tears that are forming in the corners of his eyes, he's sweating so much that he hopes Keith thinks that's what they are, drops of sweat that had made it into his eyes. Keith stops dead in his tracks, one leg raised in a position to spring up. “I-I don't want to bother him”

Keith finds his hand in Lance's hair, he doesn't even pat him or anything just holds his hand there. Lance squints up at him, a wisecrack loaded on the tongue, but Keith interrupts and the moment drops.

“You won't bother him, Shiro is going to want to help you I'll be right-” Lance reached out and grabs Keith's ankle before the red paladin can get up. 

“No.” he says again, a little wobbly this time, he tried to keep his voice level. “I-I don't want to be alone.” the words mix together, and Keith stares at him like he suddenly grew pointy ears and fur. “I'm okay now.”He did feel much better after throwing up, to prove it he started sitting up, still holding his arm close, balancing sitting up. Keith's brows were knitted so closely together that Lance had the strange urge to kiss the wrinkle that formed between them.

He coughed wetly, managing, with help to sit against the wall. “I just wanted to shower somewhere that didn't smell like stale medicine.” Keith swallowed thickly, sitting next to him, his eyes going up and down lance's entire body. 

“You're sweating like crazy.” 

“Oh really?” he scoffs sarcastically, “Didn't notice,” Lance wipes his mouth on his sleeve, his breathing finally coming out even.

Keith gets up again,

“where are you-” Lance starts but Keith interrupts him.

“to clean it up.” he replies, ripping off a bunch of towels from the dispenser. 

Lance feels his gut twists, “You don't have to do that It's gross I can do it myself-” But Keith was already on all floors scrubbing up the floor and Lance feels increasingly embarrassed until he can't watch it and has to put his head between his knees. 

Pathetic. 

The red paladin was completely silent, his face becoming more and more skewed with anger as he finishes up. At first lance think's he's mad because he had to clean it up, “Why are you walking around by yourself? Wasn't someone supposed to be watching you!?” Lance shrugs,

“I'm pretty sure your chore chart must of gotten mixed up or something.” Keith visibly stiffens at his sentence. Lance feels bad about it but it's probably true.

“You shouldn't of left your room!” Keith scolds him, “You know how injured you are Lance, don't be an idiot-” Keith stops himself suddenly, for reasons completely unknown to Lance. “Lets get you back to your bed.” he says under his breath, Lance just shakes his head no. 

“Lance-”

“I didn't come all this way to not get a shower.” He insist stubbornly.

Keith pierces. his lips together tightly, his mouth forming a thin line. He takes Lance back to his room, regardless of the blue paladins protests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!! <3 more chapters up soon (I'm thinking there will be about 6-7 in total we'll see


	5. The Shower (again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance finally get's the shower he wants and Keith finally get's the closure he wants
> 
> ((THIS CHAPTER TURNED OUT REALLY LONG but I didn't wanna leave it on a cliffhanger so *shrug emoji*

Lance stops halfway to the room, suddenly giving his full weight over to Keith who isn't prepared for it and they both go down to their knees, Lance's lanky frame collapsed over Keith. For a second Keith think's he passed out, his breath coming out in harsh achy wheezes,

“Hold on -” he breaths. “Give me- a second-” Keith balances him against the wall, so that he can lean against it on his own, “Thanks buddy-” and they sit in the hallway in silence. 

The sight of Lance struggling so much, eyebrows pinched together, hand ghosting over his mouth like he's trying to physically hold his breath in his lungs, it feels like someone reached into his body and twisted his stomach. 

He actually has to look away, it's what he's been avoiding, why he was rarely around Lance, and when he was he made sure it was when Lance was too drugged up to care, or too asleep to know. 

Eventually his breathing evens out a little more, he's wrapped his arm around his chest, carefully supporting his ribs, and he's looking at Keith, face impossible to read, eyes narrowed and mouth slightly open. His lips are horribly chapped, red and raw and Keith remembers when he had his lips pressed against them, pushing air back into Lance's body. He shudders at the memory.

Was Lance even getting better, he thought, last time he saw him he looked far better than he did now, maybe it was just the walk that exerted him so much, but something in Keith said it was something else.

Lance looks away. “I uh, sorry. This probably isn't on the top ten Lance looks.” He try's to joke, He really is sweating now, the altean hospital garb is drenched in it as if he'd just jumped into a lake, clothes and all. Lance wipes his face on the shirt, it's too drenched to help so Keith offers the bottom of his shirt and Lance looks at him like he has a third head, 

Keith lets out a puff of air into the awkward silence and decides to wipe Lance's face his damn self, Keith scoots closer to the blue paladin, so that his legs are on either side of him and takes his face in one hand. With the other he balls up the bottom of his own shirt and carefully wipes the sweat from Lances brow and out of his eyes. 

Lance scrunches his face up, like a cat, Keith thinks. He doesn't protest or try to squirm away. When Keith finishes his shirt is wet and Lance lowers his head, eyes cast down. 

“Are you okay?” Keith asks and Lance has to think for a while before responding. 

“Yes, just peachy.” It's an obvious lie, there's no way 'peachy' with his face scrunched in pain like that, and his body shaking from head to toe. Keith puts his arm very carefully on Lance's shoulder. It's so strange to see him like this, even after a week Keith hadn't even begun to get used to it. Granted, he had been spending as little time as he could around the other paladin. He's more guilty over it now than he had been, maybe because he had to actually face it now.

Lance's eyes look hazy and his skin is flushed, Keith presses his hand against Lance's forehead and recoils instantly at the heat rolling off his skin. “You're burning up!” Lance chuckles and Keith can't for the life of him imagine a single reason why. “Lance I have to get Shiro you- you look really bad.” Lance's face changed suddenly, his eyes growing wide as he looks somewhere past Keith.

“Keith.” he breathed, the word get's cut off halfway and he's shaking more all of the sudden, reaching out and gripping him by the jacket. “I can't see.” Keith stops breathing for a second, Lance gripping his jacket tighter, he's breathing hard, “KEITH?!” For someone with no strength Lance yells this very loud, snapping Keith from his daze. 

“I'm here” he says in a shaky voice, completely thrown off to what is happening. “– I you're okay Lance.” Lance deflates the tiniest bit, his grip, however, tightens

“I can't see?” he says it like he's asking. “I can't- Keith why can't I see!” Keith doesn't know what to say, or how to answer, he feels sick.

“I-I don't know, We We have to get Shiro, You need to stay here-” 

“No-” Lance's breath is shaky, wheezy, he's panicking and Keith doesn't blame him even a tiny bit. He coughs and swallows trying hard to catch his breath, his knuckles turning pale from how hard he holds onto the red paladin. “Please please don't leave me I'm- I.”

Keith wraps his arms around Lance's shaking form so tightly that Lance actually makes a noise of surprise. “I'm not- I won't, We'll just stay here until your vision comes back, so just close your eyes, p-pretend that's why, because your eyes are just closed. It'll be okay.” Lance nods heavily into Keith's shoulder, burying his face into it as he takes in shallow gasps of air.

A half hour later, when he finds the courage to open his eyes, he can see again.

* * *

“His body is … rejecting it.” Coran says, like Keith is supposed to already have context to what he means. 

Hunk cuts in before he can. “Rejecting what? The medicine? The healing pod?”

Coran sighs, “All of the above, and more.” 

Now Keith is angry, “What are you talking about, I thought you said he was stable now, that he was better, he's going to be okay still right-” 

“Keith. You need to calm down.” Shiro puts a brotherly hand on his shoulder, and Keith realizes then just how exhausted he looks. The bags under his eyes are dark, his mouth pinched tightly into a thin line and Keith can't remember him ever looking older. “I know you're worried, We all are. Worrying isn't going to help the situation, let's let Coran explain fully before we jump to any conclusions.” 

* * *

Hunk sits heavily on the couch next to him, an hour later, after the meeting is finished and everyone else had left except for the two of them. “Lance is, a very strong person Keith,” Hunk says it like he's trying to convince himself too, “I'm sure that he'll be alright.” 

* * *

They decide not to tell Lance the whole truth. Any of his 5 senses could shut down at any given moment. The lie is that it won't ever be permanent. He lies and says Lanc'es strength will undoubtedly return with physical therapy and time. Lance nods along, he glances up at Keith, trying to make some kind of connection, but Keith can't meet his gaze, he's the first to leave when the explanation is over.

* * *

Keith doesn't see him again for an entire week. The castle is big and it's surprisingly easy to avoid someone when there hadn't been any attacks and you weren't forced together. He does seek out daily updates from everyone, one perspective isn't enough for him.

Apparently, Lance could now walk by himself, his record, as Coran had said with a little too much excitement, was a hundred feet. Keith starts becoming a little terrified that He'll run into him randomly in the hallway and Lance will get mad at him for the avoidance. 

* * *

Keith's training alone in the training room, he's gotten to level five without taking a break, sweat beading over his entire body, down his neck, matting his hair to his face. The robot gets one good kick into his stomach and Keith goes flying, landing heavily on his back and rolling to a stop near the entrance. He groans loudly, “Training system off” and presses his palms to his eyes. 

So much was swimming around in his head, now that he'd stopped moving. Flashes from the incident are especially vivid today, the sight of Lance's mangled body in the cockpit. Blue, something so dear to him, and so meaningful to the team with her neck snapped off. Wires and blood and swamp water. Keith sits up fast and knocks foreheads with someone. 

He winces, body going limp against the Mat again and he lays there rubbing his forehead, trying hard to put together what had just happened. 

He expects it to be Pidge but, “Dammit Keith,” Keith's entire mouth goes dry, “Don't just shoot up like that, you scared the shit out of me.” Keith feels like there's lead weighing his bones down as he slowly picks himself up to sit cross legged, Lance is crouched in front of him.

Before Keith can say anything a shit eating grin spreads across Lance's face. “That was one sick wipeout,” 

What. 

He cocks his head to the side, “I don't think I've ever seen you get your ass kicked so hard by something other than me.” 

He was just going to act like nothing happened. Keith opened and closed his mouth like a fish, he couldn't find anything to say, not even a comeback. Lance's eyes ghost over his face then he raises the hand that was not rubbing the red spot on his forehead, holding a hydration pouch out for Keith to take, He does, numbly. Lance's legs seem to give out, but he plays if off and his squat turns into a sit. 

The wrapping on his leg was a brace now, the gauze on his arms and head, bandages. He was still too thin, his cheeks too gaunt and his eyes sunken, a bead of sweat rolled down his forehead, despite what was probably a very short walk, but he looked better. 

He sounded better. 

The hydration pouch resisted the straw more than usual, Probably because Keith's hands were shaking so bad. 

“How do you feel?” he stutters, instantly annoyed with himself. 

Lance's smile widened, it looks forced. “Great, Shiro taught me how to use crutches, so I'm a real rock and roller now... or should I say 'rock and crutcher'... You know because the crutches." 

Keith couldn't help but laugh, the tension in the room melted just a little, “Yeah?” 

Keith didn't notice the crutches that lay in a crisscross on the floor just a few feet away, until Lance adjusts his own body to be more comfortable, “Hell yeah, your man Lance is going places again, doing things.”

Keith raises an eyebrow., “I can see that, You're allowed to walk around by yourself now that's pretty sweet, Maybe you can make it to the showers by yourself now.” Lance adverted his eyes, and Keith wondered for a second if he was recollecting the incident last week, “Have you lost... any of, y'know.” He stutters through the question, not able to take his eyes away from Lance's profile. 

Lance sighs deeply, scratches the back of his head with the arm that's braced, his long nimble fingers stick out of the cast, save for his thumb, Keith feels happy for some reason at the sight of them, he always thought Lance's hands were pretty.

“I haven't been able to taste anything since yesterday,” suddenly his mouth is dry, “which I don't mind too bad actually, because it means I don't have to taste the food goop, or medicine.” He makes a exaggerated face of disgust. “dude, whatever is in those sweet hydration pouches taste so bad.” he sticks out his tongue and Keith laughs.

It goes quiet for a second, Lance chews his lip like he want's to say more but doesn't, well he does but it's not what Keith expects, 

“You smell bad.” 

Keith blinks, thrown off for just a moment before scoffing. “Yeah, that's what happens when you sweat-,” 

Lance shrugs, “It's cool, I wasn't trying to be an ass, uh, What I was trying to get out though is, well. Was that a blush forming on his cheeks? “This is a little weird.” 

Keith shrugs, “Just spit it out Lance, I doubt it's that weird.” 

Lance's tongue pokes the side of his cheek, making a little bulge. “Don't take this the wrong way but I was going to ask you to shower with me.” Keith chokes on his hydration pouch, and Lance throws his hands up gesturing wildly, “Not like WITH me with me, but I still want to hit up a shower that isn't drenched in medical smell, and I think you owe me.” Keith feels his stomach flip, 

So Lance does remember the crash, does he remember the reason he was so fucked up was because he saved Keith, because Keith got a little too wrapped up in their silly competition that he forgot to pay attention- suddenly he felt a soft tap to his forehead, Lance had reached up and flicked him.

“You know, for not letting me take one the other day-” 

Keith can't help the sigh of relief, “oh, that.”

“Yes that.” 

“Does that mean Coran hasn't given you the go ahead to take one alone?” 

he cocks an eyebrow, “psh, no one gives me the go ahead,” he waves his hand, “Lance does what he wants”

Keith smiles, “Is that a yes?” 

Lance pierces his lips, “yeap.” 

Keith pulls himself up to his feet and extends a hand down to Lance, who looks at it then asks the same thing, “Is that a yes?”

Keith takes Lances hand, “It's a tentative sure.” 

 

* * *

If someone told Lance a month ago, that he'd be sharing the same shower with Keith Kogane he probably would of laughed right in their face, loudly, without even trying to hold back. But here he was, in a shower, in his swim trunks... With non other than King Mullet himself. 

It's about five minuets in when he realizes that the walk to the training room and back to the showers had drained all his energy reserves for the day. Lance was shaking to do anything but hang onto the wall and try to stay upright. It didn't take Keith long to notice, 

“If you felt bad you should of told me, we could of done this later.” he scolds, helping Lance sit down on the big island type seat in the middle. He remembers vaguely someone talking about how some showers were to accommodate the elderly or handicapped Alteans. They were significantly bigger than the others, easily fit two people, and had very convenient seats. 

they sat there together for a little while until Lance's shakes died down. He still felt too weak to get up though and Keith didn't even ask, he just poured soap all over his hands and went to work washing Lance's hair. 

Lance doubted he'd ever washed someone else's hair even once his entire life. He almost got soap in Lance's eyes a good handful of times but Lance honestly didn't mind. He was too tired to care, and honestly he'd been missing Keith for days, he just wanted to sit with him and banter and make jokes. He leaned into Keith's touches, eyes closed, it was actually nice and despite the lack of skill, Lance had had hairdressers who'd been worse. 

Now that it was quiet, Lance had time to think about the distance that had formed between them since the crash, both physically and not. 

Lance honestly felt like it was because he had been so pathetic that day a week ago, He'd thrown up in front of Keith like five times at this point and he hated it, he hated feeling vulnerable, his body barely even belonged to him anymore. Some sense would cut out randomly, or his legs would give out or the aches would turn sharp and breathing would be difficult. It all happened randomly, and it wasn't unmanageable now but man did it suck. If Keith found him too gross to be around, He wouldn't blame him. 

“Lance, you're spacing out are you okay?” Lance dips his head with a nod, 

“Yeah, all good.” He breaths, his voice hitching, despite his efforts. 

He was so shaky these days, and it destroyed his aim. Lance's one quality he brought sometimes to the team wasn't even there anymore, If he couldn't be the team sharpshooter all he could do was get in the way. He was so tired. He felt terrible and to make things worse he was nothing than a burden, the least valued on the team and now even more so. 

“Shit!” Keith exclaims, causing Lance to jump about 3 feet. “Did I get soap in your eyes? i'm sorry-” Keith hurriedly brought a dry towel up to Lances face and wiped it furiously. Lance was so caught off guard he didn't have time to do anything but sit there his face pinched, mouth hanging open, eyebrow raised when Keith pulls it away and looks over him worriedly. Damn, he was really cute like this, all nervous and worried, he just wished the worry was for something other than him. 

Lance forces a laugh. “chill out, you didn't get it in my eye.” Keith looks confused,

“But-your eyes were red and there was water... dripping out of your eyes.” Oh, he was crying. Lance wiped at his face quickly, damn. He needed to be more careful. 

Keith had gone dead silent. Lance was going to say something, to brush it off and make it seem like no big deal but when he opened his mouth to talk a sob came out instead and he had to bite down on his tongue and lower his head to try and block it. 

“S-sorry.” for being so selfish, for messing up so badly, for forcing you to be around me, for being so depressing to be around-

Keith's arms were around him suddenly, hugging too tight, slippery from the water that fell over them both. Lance's chest ached from the pressure. 

Keith's voice shook, “Don't apologize, you have nothing to be sorry about.” Lance swallowed thickly. 

“But I do.” he hated how shaky his voice was, how hard it was to talk, “Keith... I've been so useless, I-I was already getting in the way and now- I-.” Keith looked mad now. He pulled away and held Lance's shoulders firmly, 

“You're not a burden Lance, you're a valuable asset to the team, just as valuables as anyone and this,” his voice hitched- “This is my fault not yours.” Lance's head spun. 

“What are you talking about.” he breathed, reaching up to grip Keith's wrist. Keith looked like he was desperately balancing something, as if he were staring at two open doors and trying to decide which to go through.

“You... Lance do you even remember what happened?” 

Lance tries to remember then, he really does. He remembers blaring red lights, fire, blue's mangled body, a shiver ran through his body, he felt sick thinking about all the wires, the feeling in his chest from their bond.

He couldn't remember how he'd ended up there though. In a destroyed lion in a swamp. 

“Do you?” Keith asks a little more sternly, his eyes wide. Lance shakes his head and Keith's breath stops. “Lance you- you saved me.” 

“What.” 

“We were playing a stupid 'who can bring down more ships' game and you- I went down and there was a ship going for red, it would of pierced right through the cockpit,” He stops, catches his breath, “ I wouldn't be here right now I would of died.” 

“died” the word tastes like sand in his mouth. 

Keith nods his head quickly., and talks too fast, like he's trying to get the story out as fast as he can, “Yes, but you- you and blue, threw yourself in it's path just in time and, You saved me! It's all my fault not yours!” 

Lance's grip on Keith's wrist went slack. 

“Are you stupid?” he says, his chest is hollow, and he can't really grasp the information. Keith lets go of his shoulders like he's been burned.

“I'm so sorry Lance I thought you knew.” Lance shook his head furiously, it makes him dizzy.

“I didn't.” Lance feels a tiny bit lighter.

Keith looks like he's going to throw up, “I'm so sorry, I should have been paying more attention- I was being too reckless and you had to jump in and almost get yourself killed just because of me-” 

Lance laughs louder, so talking would be stupid. Keith doesn't know what to do with himself, so he just stands there, his heart fluttering from the sound of Lance's laughter, he knows that Lance is probably going to be angry at him, that this laughing is from shock and he was going to realize any second what it all meant. 

Lance smiles up at him, wipes a tear from his eye. “I feel so much better now.” he says, a deep sigh heaving through his chest. Keith feels the air leave his own lungs. 

Lance is smiling from ear to ear, but his eyebrows are pinched and tears are rolling down his cheeks freely, His hair is sticking up at odd angles from the shampoo, his blue eyes reflecting brightly.

Keith shakes his head “I don't understand, aren't you mad? Everything that happened to you was because of me-” 

Lance shook his head “No it wasn't, you couldn't have made me pilot Blue like that, it obviously was my choice.”

“Yeah.. but If I didn't need help you wouldn't of had to-” 

“I thought all this time I had just made some stupid mistake.” Lance cuts him off. “I thought that I had done something dumb and unnecessary or show off-y and fucked myself over but I guess that wasn't the case was it?” 

Keith looks like he's going to cry now, what a look that would be, the two boys together in the shower, bawling their eyes out. “What do you mean?” he asks.

Lance Laughs, “I'm totally your knight in shining armor now, I mean, If this,” Lance gestures to his broken body, and looks back up to Keith with the most genuine smile Keith seen from him in days. “Was to save you. If it means you're still here, I don't mind getting hurt at all.” 

Keith can't help it the, it's like a dam he'd been keeping up for days breaks loose and all the worry and stress and bad news that had been piling up comes spilling out. Lance holds him as tightly as he can and the two of them cry, It's embarrassing for both of them but the relief they feel is much stronger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! Thank you for reading <3 comments are always appreciated
> 
> Also we're almost at the end (it's been one hell of a ride hasn't it)


End file.
